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Your Employee
& Family Assistance Program E-Mail Newsletter
EFAP
RAP
2009 - Archives
2007 - Archives
2006 - Archives Winter Edition; Spring Edition; EFAP
RAP SPRING/SUMMER EDITION 2008 - Volume 3, Number 4 SIMPLE COGNITIVE-BEHAVIORAL STRATEGIES FOR COPING WITH EVERYDAY LIFE: By: Sara Clark, BA (Psych) “I
am an old man and have known many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Mark Twain ***************************************************************************************************** Many of you may have heard
the term Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (or Cognitive Restructuring) as a means of
addressing personal mental health challenges, but have dismissed it as sounding
far too complex to be useful. After
all, many of us feel far too busy just getting through our day with work,
family, health and household demands to even think, let alone to change
the way we think! Cognitive-Behavioral
strategies are, however, very simple and common sense and upon reflection many
of you may realize that you already use them and have likely taught them to your
children and/or learned them from you parents. Most simply put the
philosophy of the Cognitive-Behavioral Approach is what you think affects
the way you feel (physically and emotionally), and how you feel affects
the way you behave (act). Logically
if/when faced with everyday challenges, we think negative, critical angry or sad
thoughts then we will likely feel anxious, sad/angry, hopeless and
“stressed” our bodies will feel tense, shaky, or “wound-up” and this
will be reflected in the way we behave (lashing out, impatient, teary). The Cognitive Behavior
Approach asks us to identify situations which have caused us distress and
identify the thoughts you have when they are occurring.
How these thoughts made you feel and how those feelings impacted how you
behaved. The therapy or
restructuring part consists of both the understanding of how our thoughts effect
our feeling and thus behavior and the purposeful replacement of damaging
thoughts with new more rational coping thoughts.
Furthermore, learning to recognize the signals affect the negative
thoughts of distress our body is sending us and then implementing purposeful
body relaxation strategies (deep breathing, muscle relaxation) paired with the
new positive coping self-statement (“I’m okay, Rome wasn’t built in a
day”, “one step at a time”) will make coping with everyday life challenges
both large and small much more manageable. Now let’s put this in
practical everyday terms by demonstrating its application in coping with a
common real-life situation:
A. The Situation: i.e. it is a weekday morning and you are rushing to get the kids ready for school on time and yourself ready for work. Your 6 year daughter wants her hair “just so”, the lunches aren’t made and you still haven’t had your shower! B. Your Thoughts About the Situation: i.e. I'll never make it! I'm going to be late for work! The kids will get a late slip, Miss Smyth will give me a talking to, I’m such a loser! Susan Brown is never late, her kids are always perfect and she is thin and has perfect streaked hair! I look a mess! Hannah is sooo fussy about her hair, I can’t take it!!! C. The Resulting Way You Feel: i.e. Physically shaking, heart pounding, jaw clenched, etc. Emotionally very anxious, out of control, sad and inadequate sub-standard and depressed. D. The Resulting Way You Behave: i.e. snap at kids, lose your temper, and yell, things take even longer because your behavior is agitated and you can't find needed objects (like the lunch kits!) or complete tasks in a timely fashion.
Overall
Result: The kids arrive at school just on time, but are sad/angry and agitated.
You feel similar and head off to work feeling overwhelmed and your day is
only just starting. All day at work
you feel badly about how you dealt with the kids and you wish you behaved
differently. *Sound
Familiar?:
Now let’s focus on your negative irrational thoughts about the
situation and very deliberately develop more positive rational thoughts
to replace them (positive coping statement) i.e. “I’ll never make it” –
stay calm, you’re okay, one step at a time.
We always make it in the end “Rome wasn’t built in a day”.
“I’m such a loser” – you’re doing your best, you are a good
parent, so what if you aren’t perfect. Next come up with a
few simple relaxation strategies to pair with your positive coping statement,
i.e. deep breathing, relax jaw, relax neck and shoulders. Do a system’s check. Practice
implementing the “pre-selected positive coping thought” paired with the
simple relaxation strategies whenever you face challenging everyday life
experiences large or small! As with
most things, your technique will improve with practice.
You may even find yourself becoming the calm, reasonable person you
always knew you were! Don’t be
surprised if your family and friends start quoting your coping statement back at
you! Just this morning I prompted
my son to get ready for school, he replied “well mom, Rome wasn’t built in a
day”! CVCCS has numerous great resources on the cognitive-behavioral approach and we encourage members to use them. Resources are available to all members and individuals do not have to be involved in counselling to access them! Simply call or email our office and we can make arrangements for you to borrow these resources.
SPRING IS IN THE AIR! By: Frances Rhodes, Administrative Assistant I was just looking outside my office window - the sun
is shining on my face and thinking life is great, people walking with a spring
in their step, everyone looks full of energy and happy to be outside. Springtime is a time of renewal – all around us we can see signs of nature being revitalized. March, April and May are perfect months to take stock of where we’re at and where we want to go. Just like nature’s gardens, we too require careful tending to fully blossom and create a happy, healthy life. According to the Canadian Mental ealth Association - When it comes to our mental and
emotional health, this is a good time to take a close look at how we deal with
stress and difficult events and assess our frame of mind – are we enjoying and
appreciating our environment and the people in it? This is a time for you to spring into action and revitalize and renew your mind and body! Wishing everyone a safe, happy and healthy summer!!
“GO WITH THE FLOW” - HOW TO LIVE LIFE FREE OF STRESS AND ANXIETY - By: Nilo Moller, CEAP, EFT-ADV - Counsellor
Accommodating the water A Taoist story
tells of an old man who accidentally fell into the river rapids leading to a
high and dangerous waterfall. Onlookers
feared for his life. Miraculously,
he came out alive and unharmed downstream at the bottom of the falls.
People asked him how he managed to survive.
“I accommodated myself to the water, not the water to me.
Without thinking, I allowed myself to be shaped by it.
Plunging into the swirl, I came out with the swirl.
This is how I survived.” * * * * * I think that we have all known of people who have seemed to
journey through life with few cares and worries. They are the ones who have been defined by their ability to
“go with the flow” or “roll with the punches”, seemingly able to deal
with whatever comes their way with little stress and a kind of unflinching
optimism. Many sages, spiritual teachers and philosophers have
expounded on there being really only two major and oppositional emotions –
LOVE and FEAR. And the
“River of Life” has been a metaphor in many traditions as to how we travel
this journey from birth to death. Imagine
yourself in a boat floating through life. At
times, the waters are calm, and you are feeling at peace.
At other times you encounter raging rapids that provoke anxiety and a
sense of emergency as events around you tend to spiral out of your control.
So, you try to turn your boat around as you paddle your oars madly
against the stream, only to exhaust yourself. Then there are other occasions
when you encounter a big rock in the middle of the stream when you feel
“stuck”, maybe panicky, not knowing how you are going to negotiate yourself
around this block. Those individuals who are best able to go with the flow,
who are best adept at managing “the stuff of life”, stress, anxiety, etc.,
share many of the following techniques which I would like to share with the
readers of the EFAP Rap, because learning to go with the flow has the potential
to immediately improve the quality of your life.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day. A.A. Milne, Pooh’s Little Instruction Book.
WHAT’S
GOING ON IN THE HEADS OF YOUR TEENAGERS?
By:
Laura Anderson, MSW. BSW, RSW
How many
times have parents asked themselves and their teens that question?
Thanks to new technologies in medical imaging, we now have some
surprising information about the development of the brain during teen years that
helps answer that question. This
knowledge can make a real difference in how we view and parent our teens. We
used to think that all significant brain growth occurred in the first five years
of life. It is true that 90-95% of
brain development is done by age six. But,
we now know that the most advanced part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex,
develops during the teen years. This is the part of the brain that helps to calm emotions,
make good decisions, control impulsive behaviors, set priorities and recognize
and respond appropriately to other people’s emotional states.
When the frontal lobes of the brain haven’t yet developed enough, it
can lead to risky behaviors, poor decision-making, thrill seeking, explosive
emotions, and a seeming lack of empathy for others.
Seem
familiar? These are the challenging
characteristics we often associate with teen years. The good news is parental influence and teaching can
profoundly influence their child’s brain development, much like in the first
few years of their lives. The time and energy you spend on this during the teen
years can really pay off. So, what
can you do? As
one step, I would encourage you to read a book called “Yes Your Teen is
Crazy”, by Michael Bradley. Dr.
Bradley is a psychologist and well-known media speaker on teen issues.
His book has won numerous awards and contains wonderful information that
helps parents understand and work with their teens. He discusses the adolescent
brain and the physical and social influences of the teen world.
He presents many strategies for effective parenting and addresses
challenging issues like drugs, sex and dating, making and enforcing rules, peer
pressure, etc. In one
chapter, called “Surviving Your Kid’s Rage”, he discusses ways to handle
those emotional outbursts that often seem to come from nowhere and have
devastating consequences for the parent-teen relationship.
Bradley identifies how your child’s rage can create so many difficult
issues for the parent, such as triggering our own past experiences with rage,
feelings of dislike for our child, loss of control and disliking ourselves for
feeling powerless to handle things well. Most
often, we respond to our kid’s rage with our own anger/rage and therefore
reinforce rage as acceptable behavior. We miss important opportunities to help our kids find a way
out of those extreme emotions and to learn good ways of self-control.
This is the time to help those developing brains hardwire more
appropriate behaviors. Among the
tips that Bradley offers parents for dealing with these situations are: -Refuse to
talk if the outburst continues. -Don’t
handle things on the spot. Try and
withdraw and give your kid a safe space to get back some control. -Don’t get
physical and don’t let your teen get physical.
Dr. Bradley has some good tips on how to do this. -Later, when
things are calm, preferably the next day, ask to talk to your child about the
incident. Then talk only about your
part, what you learned, how rage makes you feel, what you would do differently
etc. -Ask what
needs to be done to correct the damage (especially if other people were
affected). The
idea is to teach your child that we can learn from mistakes. You would be modeling strength, maturity, forgiveness, and
would be teaching respect, not fear. In Bradley's words, “Fear shuts down
communication, respect opens it up. Respect
allows teens to copy and incorporate your ideas, values, and morals”.
Those seem like wise words and important messages for all of us.
EFAP
RAP Your
Employee & Family Assistance Program E-Mail Newsletter
Winter
Edition, 2007 - Volume 2, Number 1
Message from the Executive Director, Keith
Robine, M.A., C.C.C. CVARS no more? Is CVARS closing down? No, we’re moving forward. The Columbia Valley Assessment and Referral Service (CVARS) opened its doors in 1989, thanks to the dedicated hard work of several individuals from the original member organizations. They saw a need to support employees and their family members to get help when mental health, addiction, and relationship issues got in the way of their overall health. After a thorough assessment, many people were referred to other agencies where they got additional treatment. Over the years, we have evolved
to the extent that most of the issues that are brought to CVARS are treated by
our experienced counselling staff. We
still do refer out occasionally. However,
our name no longer defines the majority of work we do. We’ve heard from many of you that say, “I didn’t know
that CVARS does counselling, I thought it was a referral agency!”
Therefore after 17+ plus years, we think it’s time for a name change! Over the next several months we’re proposing to change our name to Columbia Valley Counselling Centre (CVCC). We would still be your community Employee and Family Assistance Program, and our top-notch services would remain in place. In answering the phones, instead of “Assessment and Referral”, you would hear us say “Counselling Centre”. Our Board of Directors has given initial approval for the name change and we will be seeking final approval at our Annual General Meeting on March 12, 2007. What else is new for 2007? Our offices will continue to get their facelift. New paint and colors will add to the furniture we replaced in 2006. We’re hoping the décor will make for a warmer and more supportive environment when you visit us. Speaking of that, a lot of you took advantage of our services last year. Our utilization rate was 11.48%, well above our target of 8%, and almost 2% higher than in 2005. Does that mean you’re having more problems? I believe that actually you’re using us earlier in the problem cycle and not waiting for issues to become crises. Did you know that our average client only needs between 3 and 4 appointments to get the help they require? I think a lot of thanks must go to many of you reading this newsletter, for it is your speaking about the benefits of EFAP that helps people access our service in a timely manner. Best wishes to you and your family in 2007.
Retirees
by Valerie Rideout, Administrative
Assistant It has been brought to our attention that a lot of retirees do not realize they are still eligible to use our Service. We would like to reassure you that we will provide ongoing assistance to you and your dependants while you are enjoying your post work years. This is one of the many unique features our EFAP program offers that makes us distinct from other EAPs. On another note, we are working on ways of improving the circulation of the EFAP Rap. One suggestion is to actually have individuals subscribe to the newsletter and every edition would be sent directly to their email account. So, watch for an EFAP Rap subscription link on our website at: http://www.columbiavalleyars.com/email_newsletter_subscription.htm
The
Mind-Body Connection: Health Is A
State Of Mind!,
by Nilo Moller, CEAP, EFT-ADV
- Counsellor In relatively recent times, diagnostic tools, including blood screenings testing the immune system, have demonstrated a definitive correlation between the brain and the body. There is a field of study, psychoimmunoneurology (PNI), a modern science that examines the relationship between our mind, our nervous and hormone systems, and our immune system. Known as the Father of Medicine, Hippocrates, himself, some 2,300 years ago, philosophized that to improve one’s health, one needed to look at improving one’s life purpose and character. At CVARS, we have an excellent ongoing relationship with the medical community, as the vast majority of doctors are recognizing that the baseline of many physical illnesses have emotional aspects, and they are encouraging their patients to look at ways they can manage their stress, depression, and get adequate sleep - all necessary aspects of improving the immune system and speeding healing from many diseases. As part of life, we are all exposed to events that can affect our emotions and cause sadness, anger, stress, depression, and anxiety. Some of these events can include:
When you are experiencing significant stress (including “good” stress), your body will often give you some clear signals that your emotional health is suffering. Some of these symptoms include:
People with good emotional health understand what can happen to the body when the mind is challenged by the stresses of life, and they have learned that there are ways they can take care of and feel good about themselves. The following are some components of emotional health:
So, in closing, if you are
dealing with some physical ailments that are concerning you, it may be
worthwhile for you to consider what stresses you are dealing with in life that
may be contributing to your pain or illness and perhaps impeding the healing
process. The counselors at CVARS are available to help you deal with the
"stuff of life" that gets in the way of achieving optimal health and
self-esteem. It’s Music to My Ears, by Laura Anderson, M.S.W., B.S.W.,
R.S.W. - Counsellor Our knowledge about the use of music in physical and emotional healing is as old as history. With recent advances in medical imaging and brain chemistry, we are even becoming more aware of the science of that healing. Music can be used to reduce stress, boost the immune system, lower blood pressure, assist in recovery from surgery and illness, and improve our emotional well being. In my counselling work, I have become aware of many ways that people can use music to improve their lives. Here are three ways that are easy to implement. Music to Reduce Stress: Research has shown that listening to music for 30 minutes a day, five days a week can significantly raise levels of brain chemicals that help maintain hormonal and emotional balance. Music was found to reduce stress on the cardiovascular system and to promote relaxation and deep breathing. Beneficial types of music to listen to include music that has orderly and predictable patterns, and music that has a beat or rhythm that is slower than the average heart beat (72 beats per minute). One study, done through the University of Hawaii Medical School, found classical music by Bach to be the most effective at relieving stress. A contemporary song that has helped many people cope with stress, including me, is “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” by Monty Python. I highly recommend this song. Also used for stress reduction are soothing and calming sounds from nature like ocean waves and sounds of the forest. Familiar songs, that have positive meanings for you, can be very comforting. The music that works best is an individual choice and you may need to experiment. Music to Open Up to Emotions: Many people have a hard time getting in touch with, and/or expressing, their feelings. Being out of touch with our feelings, and not being able to deal with them can lead to many emotional, physical and relational problems. An obvious example is when we have experienced losses in our relationships. We can feel very alone and isolated. Often these feelings are overwhelming. Music can help with both expression and containment. Songs from Beth Neilson Chapman’s CD, “Sand and Water”, is a good example. She wrote and performed these songs to help her deal with the death of her husband. Consider the lyrics from one of these songs:
All alone I
didn’t like the feeling
All alone I sat and cried
All alone I had to find some meaning In the center of the pain I felt inside. These lyrics can speak to anyone who has experienced the loss of a significant relationship. Not only does listening to this music bring out our emotions, it helps us focus them onto the songs. It also connects us to at least one other person who knows how we feel. We interact with this music and are part of the wider world of other people who are doing the same. Even though we may be listening by ourselves, we are not alone. Music To Enhance Connection: The above section leads us to the realm of connection and ways to value the relationships to ourselves and to others through music. Let me tell you a personal story. Many years ago, in my counselling practice, a young woman who was seeing me died very unexpectedly and long before her normal time. One of her friends contacted me and said that she was devastated and had been listening to music that reminded her of the wonderful attributes of this young woman. I had also been very affected by this death and had been listening to music that comforted me. As we talked, we developed the idea of bringing people together who might like to share their feelings for this woman through music. We organized the event, many people came and all brought songs that reminded them of their connection to this young woman. We had a very special time of being together and listening to the songs that told stories of this person. We connected to her and to each other (mostly we were strangers) through the music that we brought. Even now I can go to that time and place through these songs and feel these relationships. We can also connect to ourselves through music. Think of the times when you have felt strong, have been aware that you could come through tough times, that you felt good about yourselves. Has music been part of that time? Can you use music that you connected to then to re-connect to the strong parts of you now? Take an old song from times that you were invincible, you were on top of the world and bring it into your life. Music is there to remind you that you are o.k. and that you can handle the tough times. A song for me is “Bread and Roses”, particularly the Judy Collins version. It brings me back to a time when I had come through a lot and was strong on my own but I still wanted someone to give me roses. When I think of connections and music, I also think of my mother, a woman who had six children and had a hard life. In my childhood, every time I heard her singing the song “Good Night Irene” I knew she and my father had been fighting. Once I asked her why she sang that song when they weren’t getting along. She said, “It reminds me why I married your father”. There was more to that story but for me, it was my first indication that music keeps connections strong even when they are challenged. I smile to myself because I realize I do the same thing as my mother, only my song is “There Comes a Time” by Neil Young. Whenever my husband hears that song, he knows that he is in a bit of trouble, but that everything will be all right. Over the years of working with people, I have been privileged to get many such stories of the ways music has helped them in their relationships. I am curious about the music that works for you. Are there songs that help you with stress, with connection to others, with expression of feelings? I look forward to conversations with you and ideas that will help us all to use music to enrich our lives.
EFAP
RAP
Your
Employee & Family Assistance Program E-Mail Newsletter
Winter
Edition, 2006 - Volume 1, Number 1
Message from the Executive Director, Keith Robine, M.A.
Welcome to the first edition of our newsletter, which we’re calling
EFAP Rap. We will be sending “The Rap” to you,
our EFAP representatives, on a regular basis to keep you abreast of new
developments at Columbia Valley Assessment & Referral Service (CVARS), as
well as to provide motivational material you may share with your co-workers.
Operated as a non-profit society, our program has a number of unique
features, which collectively distinguish it from other Employee Assistance
Programs. The features of this
model allow it to be highly effective in promoting wellness and prevention, and
in resolving personal problems. Your contribution to promoting
CVARS is vital and has paid off over the past year.
In 2005, our Global Utilization Rate was 9.51%, which increased from 7.7%
in 2004. This means that
approximately one in every ten employees/families utilized the Service last
year. Now you could say, “oh,
that’s bad, because people had more problems”.
And although stress in general is running high, we’re seeing people
access our Service earlier in their problems, so that in many cases, crises are
avoided. This is good news because
most emotional/relationship/family problems are much easier to solve when they
are treated in their early stages. This
trend coincides with a theme that is becoming more prevalent in our field toward
health and wellness promotion. Watch
this newsletter for continuing information about how we can promote health and
wellness in the workplace and at home in order to prevent disease and lead more
fulfilling lifestyles. Before I close, let me make you
aware of some changes at CVARS as we begin 2006.
I’d like to welcome three new worksites to our family of organizations.
They include: Accura Alarms
Security Services, Firebird Semiconductors and XL Quality Industrial Services
Inc. We’ve had a few changes in
our Board of Directors as well. We
want to thank Chris D’Arcy for his invaluable contribution to the Board over
the past several years. A big
welcome to new Board members: Dick
Bilenki, representing SD20 – Trustees, and Brian Plamondon, representing
Zellstoff Celgar.
As always, I would love any feedback you have for us and would welcome
any ideas you’d like to discuss. Call
or email me any time at the CVARS office. Promotional
Tools
by
Valerie Rideout, Administrative Assistant
Promotion
of your EFAP is key to having a successful program. I have developed many promotional tools, some of which
include posters, CVARS brochures, newsletters addressing specific areas of
concern, etc. I would love to email you any helpful information for reproduction
and distribution at your site. New
ideas and specific requests for development are always welcome.
Please feel free to contact me any time to discuss your needs.
I’m always eager to be of assistance.
You can also visit our website for program information, interesting
articles and links to many useful resources. Eye
Movement Integration (EMI) Therapy, by Nilo Moller, CEAP - Counsellor
I am pleased to announce that this past December, in Vancouver, I
completed intense training in EMI Therapy under world-renowned psychotherapist,
author, and trainer Dr. Danie Beaulieu, PhD.
As I have always taken a keen interest in how people recover from trauma
in their lives and have, in fact, facilitated many critical incident stress
debriefings, I was pleased to be offered the chance to train in one of the most
innovative and effective treatments for posttraumatic stress disorder and other
difficulties stemming from highly emotional memories.
EMI uses eye movements to activate the natural healing processes of the
brain. A depressed or highly
anxious or stressed person will tend to focus on the same fear (running an
audio/visual tape loop) over and over again, creating a strong negative
response. EMI therapy helps the
client access information in the brain that will help him/her discover the
resources to start feeling good again. If you are someone who is
clinically depressed, dealing with anxiety or phobias, post-traumatic stress
disorder, or any other psychological problem that is inhibiting your ability to
enjoy life, a brief course of EMI Therapy might be for you. If you would like more information, call our CVARS office at
368-9118.
The
Cracked Pot, by Laura Anderson, M.S.W., B.S.W.,
R.S.W. - Counsellor
One of the most common
difficulties that people can have is the thought that "I don't measure
up". We get caught up in noticing all our failures and shortcomings and not
noticing the ways that we are o.k. or even better than o.k. One of our jobs as
counsellors is to help others see the parts of their lives that include hope and
resilience and strength, not just problems. The following story can help us
remember this. A water bearer carries two large
pots on a yoke across his shoulders up the hill
from the river to his
master's house each day. One has a crack and leaks half its water out each day
before arriving at the house. The other pot is perfect and always delivers a
full portion of water after the long walk from the river.
Finally, after years of arriving half-empty and feeling guilty, the
cracked pot apologized to the water bearer. It was miserable. "I'm sorry
that I couldn't accomplish what the perfect pot did." The water bearer said, "What
do you have to apologize for?" The pot replied, "After all this time,
I still only deliver half my load of water. I make more work for you because of
my flaws. " The man smiled and told the pot.
"Take note of all the lovely flowers growing on the side of the path where
I carried you. The flowers grew so lovely because of the water you leaked. There
are no flowers on the perfect pot's side. " This story illustrates that not being perfect can be an opportunity for growth. EFAP
RAP
Your
Employee & Family Assistance Program E-Mail Newsletter
Spring
Edition, 2006 - Volume 1, Number 2
Message
from the Executive Director, Keith Robine, M.A. Hello everyone and happy spring!
I recently attended a wonderful workshop with Insoo Kim Berg, the leading
practitioner of Solution-focused Therapy. Here is a solution-focused question for some of you that want
to make a change: what is one very small thing that you can do that will alter
the way you think, feel, or behave in the world?
Solution-focused can be applied to many parts of our lives, groups, or
organizations. Simply put, it gives
attention to solutions as opposed to problems.
So what, you may ask, is the one small thing that I am doing?
I decided to start bicycling to work.
This feels like a big thing, especially when I’m biking up the hill
from Trail to Rossland. Ouch! As far as our organizations are concerned, there is an
interesting opportunity coming up. Every
year the Great Places to Work Institute comes up with a list of the Top 30
Places To Work In Canada. Going
through the application process is a fantastic way to take stock in our
workplaces and consequently improve working conditions.
Deadline for the 2007 list is July 31, 2006. Feel free to contact me for more information or check out the
website www.greatplacetowork.ca.
The
2006 list was recently published by Canadian Business Magazine in its April 10
issue. You can check that out at : www.canadianbusiness.com/canadian_business_magazine/previous_issues.jsp I have access to many articles on how to make a better
place to work. I am also available
for discussions at your worksite. Give
me a call if you’re interested. What’s
New: More
hours for Laura Anderson: We are extremely pleased to announce that Laura will now be working every second Wednesday as well as her regular scheduled Friday. New
member organizations: We welcome Toxco Waste Management Ltd. and Nature Works Remediation Corp. to our growing family of member organizations. “A
Sprinkle of Hope” The Sprinkle of Hope conference is being organized by the
Human Services Department at Selkirk College.
This conference intends to build community capacity by creating strong
attachments between one another in families, work and community.
Dr. Gordon Neufeld, a highly respected Vancouver-based clinical
psychologist will speak on: §
Why
children need to attach to the adults responsible for them. §
The
roots of aggression and how to address them without damaging attachments. §
The
perplexing problem of resistance and oppositionality including how to work with
it. §
How
to deal with separation problems in children. §
How
to cultivate and maintain a context of connection with children or students. §
How
to create a working village of attachment for a child. Practioners’Conference:
May 11-12, 2006, Sandman Inn, Castlegar Parents & Youth Conference:
May 13, 2006, Selkirk College, Castlegar Campus Some
Common Misconceptions
by Valerie Rideout, Administrative
Assistant In my many years as Administrative Assistant at CVARS, I have noted a couple of very common misconceptions about what counselling at our Agency is really all about and how we work. Please let me attempt to clarify. Misconception #1 -
The ARS doesn’t
really do any counselling, all we do is refer you somewhere else and we will pay
the fee for you to see a private practioner. WRONG! Don’t let our name fool you (Columbia Valley Assessment & Referral Service – soon to be changed). We employ excellent counselling staff who have a wealth of training and experience. They do the majority of counselling in-house at our Trail office. In fact, last year’s statistics support this statement. Out of the 250 individuals that accessed our agency in 2005, referrals to community resources were as follows: ARS clinic counselling - 68.6% (170 individuals) Residential Treatment - 1.5% Outpatient Programs - 8.5% Psychologist/Psychiatrist - 1.5% Doctor - 4.8% Self- Help Groups - 3.3% Other - 11.8% As you can see, the lion’s share of services are provided at the CVARS office. Yes, from time to time people may require specialized resources and are referred to other agencies. However, your counsellor at CVARS continues to be the case manager by remaining the liaison between the client and the referral destination and they also assure appropriate client follow-up and after-care. If you choose to see a private practitioner, in most cases, you can do a self-referral and any costs associated with seeing that particular practitioner are entirely your responsibility. Just a reminder that you have unlimited, free of charge access to our counsellors at CVARS. Misconceptions #2 - It can’t really be confidential - even from my employer or supervisor. IT SURE IS CONFIDENTIAL! All counselling at the ARS is strictly confidential. No information disclosed (even the fact that you walked in the door) by you can be divulged to any third party without your written permission to do so. As a matter of fact, even if you gave your written consent, you have the power at any point in time of revoking your consent. If you have any questions regarding confidentiality, please ask your counsellor. An interesting note
for those who have to travel a significant distance to access services: We
provide the following Counselling Services a. Face-to-Face Counselling: Clients see a counsellor in our Trail office. We will offer an extended session for individuals who travel a significant distance. b. Telephone Consultation: Clients choose to have telephone counselling sessions rather than face-to-face sessions. c. E-counselling: Clients participate in individual online counselling sessions. d. Away from Home: As a courtesy, each ARS will provide, within reason, reciprocal assessment, counselling and referral services on request, for those affiliated with companies which are currently members of ARS’s located in other areas. The Wonderful World of Energy Psychology
–
by Nilo
Moller, CEAP, EFT-CC, EFT-ADV -
Counsellor
I am pleased to announce that I have recently completed several months of study and exam writing to achieve basic and advanced certification in Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), a form of Energy Psychology that you may have been hearing or reading about in recent times. EFT is a relatively new discovery that has provided many people with quick and lasting results from pain, diseases and emotional issues. Simply stated, it is a therapy that combines psychology with acupuncture meridians and kinesiology. EFT practitioners such as myself are able to teach clients how to achieve optimum physical and mental health. The EFT Discovery Statement is:
“The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s
energy system.” And because our physical pains and diseases are so obviously connected with our emotions, we find to be true the following statement: “Our unresolved negative emotions are major contributors to most physical pains and diseases.” EFT has achieved resounding success with most all emotional issues including fear, trauma, depression, grief, phobias, eating disorders, stress, pain; in fact, as a natural healing technique we are urged to “try it on everything!” If you wish to learn how you can help yourself in all areas of your life, do not hesitate to call and make an appointment. Meanwhile, you can get a mountain of information on EFT in the following website: www.emofree.com I continue to be proud and happy to be one of the Staff of CVARS, which has a long history of providing quality assistance to employees and family members of our investor groups!
What
is Your Love Language?, by Laura Anderson, M.S.W., B.S.W.,
R.S.W. - Counsellor When I was a child I would listen to my parents arguing and the arguments had a consistent theme. My mother would say things like “Your are never home, we never do anything together, you don’t want to spend time with me. You obviously don’t care for me like you used to”. My father would reply, “How can you say I don’t care for you. I work from 6:00 in the morning ‘til 5:00 at night. I make sure the car is in good shape for you and the girls (I have five sisters!). Look at how I fixed the furnace last weekend and how I am painting the porch this weekend. What more can I do?” As an adult, I know that despite the arguments my parents did love each other. I also know that neither of them could really communicate that love to the other person. This is a common problem, one that I see very often in the couples that come to me for counselling. I recently became aware of a new book called “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. This book helps explain why people have such trouble feeling loved and demonstrating love in their relationships. Chapman says that each person has a primary love language that will be based on their unique psychological make-up and their childhood experiences with being loved. We express our love through these primary love languages and it is interesting to note that most often spouses have different love languages and don’t know it. According to Chapman, the primary love languages fall into five categories: 1. Words of Affirmation 2. Quality Time 3. Receiving Gifts 4. Acts of Service 5. Physical Touch If, in the case of my father, your primary love language is Acts of Service, you will see these acts as the main ways of getting and showing love in your relationship. If, in the case of my mother, your primary love language is spending quality time with your partner, your love tank will become empty if this doesn’t happen. If your primary ways of loving are not the same as your partner then you truly are speaking different languages. As a counselor, I have seen how surprised and hurt people can be when they think they are being a loving partner and it doesn’t seem to be working. If we don’t know our own and our partner’s primary ways of feeling loved and valued, it is difficult to respond in the right ways. It might be interesting for you, and helpful to your relationships, to explore the primary love language of yourself and your partner. Gary Chapman’s book could be a way to start. EFAP
RAP
Your
Employee & Family Assistance Program E-Mail Newsletter
Fall
Edition, 2006 - Volume 1, Number 3
Message
from the Executive Director, Keith Robine, M.A. Hi CVARS supporters. We sure do appreciate all the ways you help us, through
volunteer work, meetings, and the education you provide others about CVARS.
If you’re looking for innovative ways to help your organization, and
us, you might consider attending the Health Work and Wellness Conference, being
held in Vancouver on October 12-13, 2006. This
is a great alternate event to replace the Awareness Conference that many of you
attended in the past. I’ll see
you there! I’ve been making the rounds talking with
CEO’s, management teams, and city councils.
So far, I’m finding that there is a range of knowledge about CVARS,
from none to extensive. Those that
know us are generally quite happy with the Service.
The main improvement they would like to see is even greater exposure for
the program. They also express
interest in the concept of wellness in the workplace.
Probably the best single word to help move a business toward greater
health is the word “trust”. I’ve
got some tools that can help and am available to work with your organization. What’s
New: Office
Renovations: If you haven’t been by our offices lately, you’re
in for a big surprise as we’ve been doing a facelift that includes new paint,
colors, and furniture. New
CVARS Board Members: We are pleased to welcome Deb Robertson who will be
representing Zellstoff Celgar, PPWC, Local 1; Katya Maloff who will be
representing School District No. 20 (Kootenay - Columbia), KCTU; and Theresa
Lenardon who will be representing the Regional District of Kootenay Boundary. New
member organizations: We welcome Weathered Reflections to our growing
family of member organizations. Here
is my question for you: Can we be
kids again?, by Laura Anderson, M.S.W., B.S.W.,
R.S.W. - Counsellor My answer is YES, especially in our need to have a
relationship with a significant person where we can be taken care of, shielded
from the hurts of life and given a secure base from which we can grow and
develop. No one would argue that
kids need that. The good news is
that if we didn’t get that as kids, we can start putting it in place in our
relationships with our partners right now.
Our ideas on how we should be in our couple
relationships are changing rapidly. For
a long time our understanding of what it means to be a “normal, healthy”
adult was based on ideas from traditional psychology – ideas that evolved from
the work of Sigmund Freud. We were
taught that we need to be self sufficient, independent, strong and in control of
our emotions. Not surprisingly,
these traits reflected the values and norms of Freud’s era – Victorian
England. These ideas have been
detrimental to our relationships. We
often are afraid to express our emotions, to show vulnerability, and to be
“dependent” on our partners. Fortunately, we live in a different era and
more healthy models are emerging. Attachment
theory, drawn from new ideas and research in science and developmental
psychology, lets us know that closeness, not distance, and dependency, not
autonomy, are not only more satisfying in relationships but also help ensure our
survival. We need to
let ourselves and our partners be able to share feelings, fears, and
vulnerabilities. Dependence
on the other can foster a secure base that allows us to venture forth each day
and face the challenges of life when we are away from our partners.
Knowing that your partner will take of you, when you need it, is the
ultimate feeling of closeness and love. This
simply could be when you are overwhelmed with a particular situation or a more
challenging time when you are
unable to function at the level that you desire.
When the attachment in the relationship is working, caring for the other
is done with the knowledge that if the situation was reversed and you needed to
be cared for, it would happen. Knowing about Attachment theory, explains how
most of the difficulties we face as couples come from threats to our attachment.
They come when we feel and fear separation from the person we most want
to be with. In future RAP issues, we will look at how these
threats to attachment cause us problems. We
will explore what it means to be “dependent” and we will look at ways that
we can preserve and enhance our connections to our partners.
CVARS – OUR EVER EVOLVING AGENCY – by Nilo
Moller, CEAP, EFT-CC, EFT-ADV -
Counsellor Just this past month the Trail Times newspaper
elected to do a profile of CVARS. Reporter
Kate Skye interviewed Board Chair, Rosemary Edgell; Executive Director, Keith
Robine, and myself as the counselor with the longest term of employment at the
agency. I have been employed at CVARS since January
1990; and, as such, Ms. Skye asked me an interesting question that had me waxing
nostalgic. She asked me what
changes I have seen over the past 16 years at CVARS.
As I was put on the spot, I didn’t have the time to even think of all
the dynamic experiences at our office and with our worksites.
We have had some growing pains, that’s for sure, as have all our
investor businesses and unions in a changing workplace culture.
Our dedicated staff and volunteer Board of Directors have variously
shared tears, fears, joyous events, victories, grave illness, death, not to
mention scrambling to keep up with an ever-changing political climate. For me, personally, the biggest blow was the
loss of our health care sector investors such as the Kootenay Boundary Regional
Hospital, Kiro Manor, Columbia View Lodge, etc., as a result of the decision by
Interior Health in 2002 to pull out of our program and institute a 1-800
Employee Assistance Program. The
Health Authority definitely had no issues with CVARS; it was a move to have one
provider serve a very large geographical area.
As I have a medical background myself, I have missed dealing with the
hardworking and dedicated employees in the health sector.
Financially, of course, this dealt a rather cruel blow to our operation,
as the health care sector was a major funder, and we had to find creative ways
to cut financial corners and reduce staffing. Another major change in our investor groups has
been the evolving shift in workplace culture, including downsizing and staff
reduction in order to meet their own budgets or maintain profitability.
This has created an increase in our statistics of employees dealing with
workplace stress, which often spills over to their home life.
I think it is very fair to say that the majority of Canadian workers are
very highly skilled in their trades and fields of expertise.
Most of the problems they experience at the workplace, then, tend to be
related to personal issues. EFAP
Reps and Committees in the workplaces continue to be dedicated promoters of our
Service to help their fellow employees in trouble. We, at CVARS, are gratified at the continuous participation
of employees – union and management – who can be counted on to step
up to the plate for the betterment of others.
Some of these people also sit on our Board of Directors year after year
troubleshooting and making policy to continue providing excellent service to the
worksites. Evidently their hard work has paid off.
We have, over the past year or so, initiated client satisfaction surveys,
and we consistently score high marks in every area of service, not to mention we
have new businesses signing on almost quarterly.
Even small family operations are recognizing the benefits of our very
affordable program, which they see as an employee benefit at least as important
as a medical or dental plan! We have earned an excellent reputation and
working relationship with the physicians in our communities, as well as with
Mental Health and other health and social service providers. Clients are able to access our service with very minimal
waiting. Often we are able to see
people on an emergency same day basis! As a closing thought – as the saying goes -
sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same.
The number one substance abuse problem in our catchment area continues to
be alcohol. As well, lamentably,
there will always be a drug problem that affects people from every walk of life.
I think we can rightly be proud of our ability to literally save lives by
getting those so affected into treatment programs.
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