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Your Employee
& Family Assistance Program E-Mail Newsletter
FALL/WINTER EFAP
RAP
MANAGING OUR THINKING - By: Sara Clarke, B.A. (Psyche) - Executive Director - CVCCS
Many of us find ourselves frequently troubled by negative, destructive and stressful thoughts which cause us to be anxious. These thoughts frequently are repetitive and become a harmful pattern of thinking. There are a number of strategies that have been known to help manage them. Listed below you will find descriptions of five methods to try:
SIMPLE AWARENESS: Many of our thoughts occur without our awareness. They happen automatically. They can be habitual or triggered by our surroundings. Ask yourself 5, 10, 20 or even 50 times a day “What am I thinking about?” Often, just becoming aware of what we are thinking about can stop the thought pattern that is going on. If you find yourself feeling upset, worried etc ask the question; “What have I been thinking about?” This is also an excellent way to understand the direct relationship between thoughts and emotions!
THOUGHT STOPPING: Thought stopping is designed to be used when you are worrying about the same issue over and over again. It is only used when the worry is pointless. If your worry is actually giving you solutions to the problem, you might want to write down the solutions and then make a plan to implement them. Thought stopping is also useful to stop a particular thought process which is not helpful such as dwelling on “what ifs…”
The way it works is: when you find your self repeatedly thinking a worrisome thought identify what that thought is and then when the thought comes back into your head physically stand up and clap your hands and say out loud “STOP”! While you may feel silly at first in time you can develop your thought stopping skill to the point where you can simply imagine yourself standing up, clapping and shouting “STOP”!
THOUGHT CHALLENGING: Sometimes it is necessary to argue with your negative thoughts. When simple awareness is not enough then it can be helpful to talk back to your thoughts in a way that challenges them. For example, frequently we catastrophize situations without realizing it. If we are worried about being late we think such things as “I am always late, I am going to be fired for sure!” Use Thought Challenging to examine the validity of such negative thoughts and frequently you will determine that they are untrue. Examine your negative thoughts in a deliberate manner and ask yourself if when similar situations have happened in the past what you did to cope. You can then respond to your negative thoughts with statements that are more balanced and true (such as “sometimes I am late but usually I am on time and I did well on my last job performance evaluation”).
STICK TO THE FACTS: Sometimes it may not be enough to challenge your thoughts and to develop a more balanced view. You may then need to repeat the truth to yourself over and over again. Stick to the facts (What do you know to be true about your situation?) Avoid going down a road of negative thinking that is not based on the known truth about your situation. Deliberately stop yourself stating out loud “No I am not going down that thought path, spending time thinking about that will not be helpful”. Remind yourself again on the known truth and repeat it to yourself. Assumptions and predictions about what may happen are not helpful unless they are optimistic!
CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT: Lastly consider changing your environment. Many of our thought processes are automatic and have been conditioned to occur by our environment. If you are sitting in a chair in your living room or office and find yourself caught up in a worrisome thought pattern which you would like to stop, get out of the chair, leave the room, go for a walk, make yourself a drink of water/green tea etc, call a friend, walk the dog etc. Usually within 3 minutes our thought process will change now that the environment has been changed.
Sometimes you may have to repeat all five methods, over and over. Other times simple awareness of your thoughts is enough to make a positive difference. Usually we find that one or two of these techniques work for us and we can then use them to manage our thinking!
Parts of this article have been adapted from the Changeways Program, Departmenrt of Psychology, Vancouver Hospital and Health Sciences Centre, UBC Pavilion
“Corners Are Uncomfortable” - Preteen and teen years – Part 2 - By Gloria Manning-Smee B.S.W./ M.Ed.
As kids reach the pre-teen and teen years, they will often try and usurp authority from their parents, as they feel they are ‘old enough to be given more privilege’. When we make demands and do not give our children choices, they feel like they are backed into a corner, and because there is no where to go, ‘kids come out a-fightin’! Give freedom within limits, and if they can’t be responsible for that freedom, then you have the right to limit that freedom. Sometimes we see that our children’s peers matter more to them than their family. In order to bridge that gap and provide an environment for healthy emotional growth we need to remember to continue to nourish and enrich our relationship with each of our children. How is this done? By spending time with them, one on one, doing activities that they enjoy doing….and seeking to understand before being understood. It’s important we take time to play with our children, no matter what age they are. The more children can have strong and positive relationships with their parents, the better they are at managing their emotions and behavior, and be able to relate positively to the work around them. Much of this comes from love that ‘is known and make shown’. Relationships don’t just happen…..they have to be built. Notice your teen’s positive qualities and strengths, verbalize it to them, and do not be afraid to be affectionate with them. Both of these things help to build healthy attachment, which is really valuable for your child’s long-term development as well. To help them cope, we can validate their feelings, and let them know that although feelings are sometimes painful, they are time-limited. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just simply Are. It is what we do with them that counts. When accomplishing a goal, remind them that feeling they can’t do it is not the same as not being able to do it. Just help support them in sticking to their plan. Individuals thrive on Encouragement.
Believing CAN make it happen! - By: Dr. Will Bussey, CCC; RHT. Ed.D. ( Counselling Psychology 1999)
By the 1990’s, it was possible to be treated with powerful medications for all type of ailments. These pills were hailed as the ultimate weapon; a miraculous pain reliever, or powerful antidepressants. Some were, in effect, mere sugar pills—in research lingo, a placebo. The placebo effect is the significant healing effect created by a person’s belief and expectation that a powerful remedy had been applied, when the actual improvement could not have been the result of the applied remedy. Placebo effects do work, and do not have a specified timeline, are not specific to personality types, nor are they susceptible to “truth”. (ie. Being told after that the drug, was sugar pills/fake etc.). There are varied explanations why placebo’s work, but along with the improvement placebo effects cause, comes the “placebo’s evil twin” the nocebo effect! Placebo means “I will please,” and Nocebo means “I will harm.” The nocebo effect is the harmful health effect created by a person’s belief and expectation that a powerful source of harm has been contacted or administered. Patients that are convinced that a medication is bad or useless will often exhibit symptoms that conform to that view! People convinced that they will get an illness are much more likely to get it! Sometimes they have good reason for thinking this way…family history, voodoo or being told by medical professionals of imminent death, or complicated side effects. The strongest evidence that’s gaining increasing attention to the nocebo effect is the noncompliance with treatment prescribed to treat illness. Other sources are market hype espousing a scare about treatment downsides; Cold, impersonal health facilities run like a factory or a business, and finally Conflict between medicine and alternative treatment, that forces a patient to choose. Why is this problem not brought forth in a more upright manner? The answer is quite simple, the placebo effect has been an embarrassment and a problem for drug studies, so there have been attempts to discredit it. However, the placebo effect remains one of the best-known facts of everyday clinical medicine. _______________________________________________________________________________________
The staff at Columbia Valley Counselling Centre would like to wish all our worksites and members a very safe and happy holiday. |
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